Log in

cdogfighter's Journal
[Most Recent Entries] [Calendar View] [Friends]

Below are the 16 most recent journal entries recorded in cdogfighter's LiveJournal:

Friday, February 8th, 2008
2:06 am
i'm not here to win like i've thought, but in a weird way i always find something good. well i haven't yet. i'm still picking up the peices to something that will never heal completely. i still regret and want to say the things i mean but will never do. it would be pointless in the end. i failed at it and i do regret it because it is something i want to change in my life so bad. i will never get the chance to look into it. i will never get the chance to touch it. i will never get the chance to speak from the heart about everything. in the end i have nothing.

Current Mood: drained
Friday, February 1st, 2008
2:04 am
its hard to believe i'm still alive. i had another seizure earlier this month and never went to get checked out. i can't miss work anymore. i'm sick of all the meds and drama from everyone and thats what caused it. now i'm going to get ripped about having another seizure but knowing my luck no one cares lol

Current Mood: blah
Friday, January 25th, 2008
2:50 am
fuck off and die already.
what more is there to say in this post. well if i keep going i will be dead. oh and you are all thinking one thing. good

Current Mood: restless
Monday, October 15th, 2007
3:30 pm
its been about a month since I've been on. its been real tough the last month. i feel empty but whatever I'm used to getting hurt. why should i let this one bug me so bad. she says she loves me but not in love with me. if this was so true then why have i been getting the shit end. because i gave it my all? because i still love like i said I'll always will? the worse thing is that i know more then what she tells anyone and still can read better then she thinks. yeah in the long run i really fucked up but I'm working towards making myself a better person no matter if anyone sees it or not. its a change for me no one else. don't think it is because I'll tell you straight up its not. this is all for me. so if anyone still reads this thing let me know who you are. later

Current Mood: mellow
Thursday, September 13th, 2007
1:37 am
stressed to the limit
how can we fix when no one wants to change? how can we live if we don't talk? how will we survive our lives together when you don't tell me things? how will we? how will we? I can tell you now how. you want to know the things i know and what you want to know about me? here you go. pay close attention to this and this will answer all your questions. i'm the one who has been raised by two parents who pushed me to succeed. i gave up on myself and then they did the same. i'm the person if anything needs. my GED is just that my GED. you want to help thats great honey but i don't really accept help easy. i grew up as a let down since middle school. i just stop caring about myself and what i became after that. since i've been with you i've been doing my hardest to break that so i dont lose you or hurt you and i have and im sorry for that but this is really a new thing to have someone actually care for me like you do. stop me before i start. when you make plans tell right afterwards so i dont go asshole on you. tell me things so i do know whats going on. if you dont want to see so and don't ignore my textes. yeah you were busy but you could have said something. and emily spending the night is whatever ok. just let me know what the hell is going on so i dont go ape shit and that will reduce our fights a lot and you know it. its not easy for me to stop going when i get going. just read this and youll understand what im saying.

Current Mood: aggravated
Monday, September 10th, 2007
10:38 am
Wow! It's still active. Anyways just dropping in to relax and blow up my mind. Yeah a lot of shit has happened. Lets see to begin with my ego is the size of the moon at times. Second I don't know what to do about flipping out over stupid shit. third I can't help it but I'm the horniest motherfucker that I know of. I'm tired of fighting with my baby. She means the world to me. I just wish when i walk away when things get heated that she'll know I'll be back.I do it because I have to because I don't want to lose her or say something that will hurt her. Work sucks. Halloween and Christmas are coming up so i have been working on that. A clinic is getting put into my store so yeah really excited about that...............NOT!!!!!!!!!!! I hit my second year at a job and its great. She doesn't understand the concept of I scratch their back they'll scratch mine. Well that's all i really have to say. Later everyone

Current Mood: okay
Thursday, June 8th, 2006
11:47 am
just thought i would let everyone know im still alive.
Wednesday, April 19th, 2006
12:34 am
lot of shit going on dont have enough time to talk about it well im in love again :). i love u baby! just scared wat the future holds for me thats all. well thats all i have to really say because im tired and frustrated. (thanks amanda). later ppl
Thursday, April 6th, 2006
10:39 am
i dont know wat is going on but i feel like something bad is going to happen. well i found out yesturday that it wasnt my friend i should have been worried about.im in the shower yesturday around 2 and i hear my phone go off and its my girlfriend. well im thinking ill call her back when i get out. then she calls again now im in a hurry to get out of the shower. my rings a 3rd time and i finally get to it my girl is crying on the other side of the phone and asked if she can come im like yes. rush to get dress for work and forget to shave. well she came over and told me wat happened went to a friends house so she could sit down and relax then she took me to work. well that is the end of wat ive got to say later people
Tuesday, April 4th, 2006
3:23 am
something isnt right.
i dont know wat is going on but i feel like something bad is going to happen. my friend was online and next thing i know hes gone. well thats all i got to say but i guess if he wants to talk hell call me.

Current Mood: confused
Sunday, April 2nd, 2006
1:42 am
Interesting day
today was interesting for me. me and my day hung out and talked a little. i havent been able to do this because i was never home. it went great though. went out with my baby tonie :). i feel asleep around 8 when she got off. woke up around 10 looked at my clock and said ooohhh shit i was like i hope she not mad at me. she was running late because of family and my ex so it worked out. well thats all i got to say later people.

Current Mood: content
Tuesday, March 28th, 2006
1:54 am
sleepless in orlando
i still havent been able to sleep damn it. i wish some1 would just knock me out already. thats how bad i want to sleep. i dont know wat to do anymore. i feel like something bad is going to happen to me. i might be going crazy but i dont know because im already crazy. well im going to go eat sorry about all the problems to people if i caused any later.

Current Mood: tired
Monday, March 27th, 2006
2:54 am

my pet!
2:48 am

my pet!
1:10 am
Richard is a dick! Cant sleep either.
Hey Richard is a dick end of story. Im just going to leave the pussy alone until he is ready to say sorry for the way he has acted towards me my girl , and my friends. If he does want to do it then he can turn gay all he wants because that is what he wants. He wants to bend over for bubba and get fuck in the ass like a dog. Im backing off. If he says some shit to my girl or any of my friends there will be a big problem that his beer wont be able to get him out of. i havent been able to sleep well the past couple of days because of what my ex said to me over the phone. All i see when i close my eyes is my other ex (corey for the people who dont know) begging me to stop and i wake up in a cold sweat. try going to sleep with ur girlfriend next to u? yes amanda there was something wrong with me when u asked friday. this is what was wrong. I wanted to tell u but i was afraid to because after all im Brandon. 2 hours of sleep a day really sucks. well thats all i got to say this morning. ttyl every1 who reads.

Current Mood: tired
Sunday, March 26th, 2006
3:00 am
lol hi people
hi baby just for u!
About LiveJournal.com